Avagadro’s Zombies


“I guess I kinda thought when the world ended it’d be relaxing.” The Santa Anna winds blew the hot smell of rotting flesh, and wildfires across his face. The herd was, maybe a mile out, so they still had some down time.


“What do you mean?” Braeden didn’t really care, but he said nothing so the noob would keep talking.


“I mean no nine to five, no papers to grade or bills to pay. Secretly I think we all thought it’d be kind of relaxing.”


“You never thought about having to scavenge for food, or amebic dysentery? I bet you even thought there’d be an endless supply of bullets.” He continued sharpening his steel arrow head knowing the noob was one of those. The people that loved the zombie films, maybe even used to dress in camos and stare at their canned food supply patting themselves on the back because they could survive anything, but now that anything had actually happened, they were a little caught off guard. It was one thing to have post apocalyptic dreams. It was another to be awake while the zombies were biting.


“So what’d you do before?”


“Does it matter?” Noobs all asked the same questions; where were you from, what did you do, did you lose anyone? It was like a rite of passage when you joined a group.


“I think it does. It helps us get to know each other and it passes the time. Besides it can’t hurt anything,” he said wiping the sweat from his face.


“Someday you’ll turn and I’ll have to bash in your brains, that’s all I need to know.” Anymore than that and it’d be harder to bash in the noob’s brain. Which he knew he’d have to do at some point. Scavenging missions only ever ended one way. The noob got bit and he’d have to keep them from turning. It was better not to know who they were. It was better not to get too attached to the soon to be dead.


Braeden was pretty sure that’s how the zombie apocalypse would happen. Dreaming about a post-apocalyptic world was a hell of a lot easier than studying for his Ap chem midterm. Killing noobs was easy, Avagadro’s number was hard. He wished the apocalypse would happen before second hour.



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